“The more you learn to love yourself, the less of what other people do for you matters.”
This week Sarah, Meg, and I have been continuing to iterate and dive deeper into ideas, creating detailed hero flows. Hero flows are the ideal scenario of what one would experience when using our product or service.
We have struggled a bit this week because relationships are different for everyone meaning the way they build, work, and break is different too. This makes it extremely hard to ideate because However, we need to keep reminding ourselves; the goal is not for it to work for everyone but a particular population.
Often through this process, we find ourselves talking about our experiences and what we felt during those times. In passing Sarah said,“The more you learn to love yourself, the less of what other people do for you matters.” For some reason, this quote has been circulating through my mind endlessly since. I struggled with learning to love myself my entire life until this year for a number of reasons. Many of which I recognize now as pain and wounds my parents passed on from their life. It wasn’t their fault and in many ways, I am fortunate because I have had the experiences I needed to heal. However, I’ve also realized most people don’t heal from their past they just learn to be numb and cope with it. This results in it negatively impacting many areas of their lives. Hurt people, hurt people, and healed people, heal people. People receive the love they believe they deserve and that how people treat others is a direct reflection of how they treat themselves. Loving ourselves is an essential step in being able to love others freely. So if this is true, people being able to love themselves is also a critical part of them being able to build deeper relationships with others. As a team, we’ve been bouncing back and forth on focusing on the individual or tools to building relationships with others. Relationships are like designs; they aren’t ever really finished until you give up on them. They always have the opportunity to get better or worse through iteration.
Last week, I made coffee-crusted, cherry topped pork loin and a roasted beet salad for the cohort and tested an activity. (The recipe will be posted here in February.)
We very much resemble a family in that we know very intimate parts of each other and genuinely care for one another, yet there is plenty of internal baggage and hard moments that are inevitable in relationships. We had a bucket of questions where we randomly drew out of and selected an individual to answer the question.
What we learned from this experience is there have to be boundaries set beforehand. Some I would have set would be that no one is allowed to speak if someone is answering a question. It happened multiple times, and it immediately shut off any vulnerability of the person that was sharing. Regardless of the intent of the comment, in our case humor was traded for vulnerability. We also had unexpected guest in class that affected the mood. Though they were troopers and played along with us, I think people coming in and out caused distraction and also kept the conversation from going as deep as it could have gone.
Moving forward, we’ve decided to test out two separate ideas. One focused on self-reflection and building a deeper understanding of themselves and the second a tool to build deeper relationships with others. Both are essential to the mental health of a person yet just left for people to figure out on their own.
The first scenario we are pushing further is either an app or a physical product that allows for self-reflection.
The second is an activity or game that allows for individuals who know each other to build a deeper relationship. The focus on this is to provoke conversations they wouldn’t have otherwise. However, the struggle with this is the emphasis on keeping it lighthearted yet sincere and intentional.
These ideas are by no means any reflection of our final product. They enable us to test ideas with real people to start the iteration process, into something that is impactful and meaningful.